Untitled.

I have been working for two consecutive days. Thursday and Friday. Adding on, Sunday. :) Work is fun, but i got to stand for 11 hours daily. haha. I always thought that, working with you on every Sundays is something that i will look forward to. Hmm... Things changed my opinion. I am too sensitive. Just take an example for today. I maybe disappointed with myself and you, mainly because of what had happened on Saturday. You not being able to attend my tai ma's birthday dinner, due to your thesis. Trying to be reasonable by, work comes first. But whenever you bring up that i am not considerate enough, i feel that, all these compromises are useless.

You told me to be contented, but are you contented? I felt the negative charges from you. And felt that u are showing attitude. You claimed that you did not.

Actions:
1. Normally, you walk towards me, u will make funny faces.
2. You will normally talk to me, whenever u are near me.
3. We stand away from one another.
4. You don't bothered to look at me nor smile at me.

All i could see was, you talking and smiling to X. I feel so... sigh... Seeing you talking to her happily isn't something pleasing. Always been trying to hold back my tears, trying not to flare, trying not to think negative, trying not to do a lot of things. It's hard... but i succeeded. I didn't do anything, but to ask why is he showing me attitude.

Sigh. I dislike such feelings. Everything was cleared in the later part of the day. Hmm... Still, working with you isn't something fun anymore.

Flashes

My New Cap. :D

I went out with Jiemin and Nina, to celebrate a belated birthday for Jiemin. What we had was pizzahut @ Clementi.:) This cap was bought. We had a great time gathering together. Talking and laughing throughout the whole dinner. Missing those times, when we share our thoughts and feelings in school. Having lunch before trainings. I missed all those times together. Going home together by taking the same bus. Hmm... Time flies. How i wish i could go back to secondary school days. 

Flipping through those photos taken in secondary school, makes me feel that i had aged. Time really flies. It's been the 3rd year since i graduated. Wearing my school uniform, nerdy hair, bagpack, waterbottles etc. :) All my classmates. Having fun studying together after school for O levels. Haha. :)

Everything is fine :D

Black clouds had finally left me.. :) At last, my boy and i didn't break. But i was wondering, did i make the right decision? Recently, we are still arguing. Even the smallest topic, we can also end the day with unhappiness. sigh. Forget about it.

Today, hmm... I drove grandpa's car out, all the way to safra jurong, just to have lunch with stephanie and hannah. :) It's pretty boring there, as there isn't that much crowd. Hannah and i went for some sushi express. Their sushi sucks alittle.. oops. I had salmon don, while she had her katsu curry don? something like that ba. Hmmm... We were engaged in a conversation where it lasted us for the whole meal. I am happy about that. ;)

A friend of mine asked me out for clubbing. How i wish i can go.. I asked my boy, he said "NO!" Purely because, i have work on Sunday (TMR!) O.O.. Me so playful. No matter how i plead to go, no matter how i find excuses, his answer will forever be "NO! Because u are working the next day! "

I feel sad, when i heard his response, but i am happy, at least he cares for me. :) I love you! <3.

Had spicy dinner, green bean soup.. Next up.. Tonic.. :( Bitter bitter.

I need to do my tuition homework later. Will sleep by 1am. Promise!

~Hopefully i wont break my promise. :P

Sign out.

Still a riddle

I slept at 2++am, and woke up at 3++pm. Had more than 12 hrs of sleep. I don't feel good. After that long sleep, make me feel lazy to do anything and everything. 

Another moody day. All i did was, infront of the laptop and watch Xinmsn, watch other shows that i can find. Keeping myself busy all day. 

Now...I feel like eating ice-cream. Because i am unhappy. How i wish someone can bring me a tub of ice-cream now. sigh

At times, we need to leave our positions and take a look from another perspective, everything will be clearer. Or perhaps, by then, problems can be solved. In a relationship, are u suppose to think logically or emotionally? Or some will think that its both logically and emotionally? As time flies, both partners will feel that the basic needs aren't needed any further. Why? Because it became a natural reaction that opposite party need to react. I miss the days where we webcam even if u don't have the time to meet up. I misses those days when we chat on the phone (every night). A daily "I love you / I miss you/ silly baby" will be received. I misses our first time to hagendas at esplanade. Why is there so many changes in our rs? 

This is the time for him to game all he want. But he said nvm. So am i wrong now? To be honest, i don't feel like facing our relationship. I just want to avoid settling it. At the same time, dangling isn't beneficial for the both of us. 

sigh.

Last Post about the Sweet us.

I just visited your blog. No updates. So is mine.

A weird feeling came by after we saw granny. All we did was.. "Let's be friends" Even till now, we are still smsing one another. So, what are we now? hmm pondering..

I spent my day restlessly, lying in my bed and i slept all i could. I tried not to think of anything that is related to us. But like everyone said, its impossible. I couldn't cry for the whole of last night, and i fell asleep at 6am. I didn't follow my initial plans for the day. But, i did the smartest thing is to flipped through everything that belongs to us. Every individual picture of us. The journey, the Process. That really allowed me to tear and cry. Perhaps that's the real reason why i chose not to go out today.

Questioning myself, so what are we now? Are we compatible in the first place? I still love you, i believe so do you. Today, i talked to YY through whatsapp. I understand a lot of things by her experiences. She asked me to share, whatever is in me now. All i could reply was simply, "nothing..." I am emotional for the day. I shut myself as much as possible in the room, under my blanket. Avoiding is not how we solve problems, but we need to face it.

I miss you, my boy. I can't bear to give up.. I feel the hurt... I feel the pain... I also understand, this is what any couple may experience. I am sorry that i hurt you, I am sorry that i loved you. And i am really sorry that i had changed you. And i know that "SORRY" doesn't turn back time.

The reason why we choose that path is purely because, our character is not compatible. Been trying our best for years to make it right. Still... major problems can't be adjusted. Facts are real, facts are the facts. All i can say, this time will be a peaceful one. I love you.

Sign out
~Wishes you all the best
~I love you

Sudden Post

A sudden post... A sudden feeling... Suddenly, i have the feeling to blog, therefore i am here. :) Started my English tuition already. It's been a long time since i last had my tuition. Especially the days in secondary school. Preparing myself for the upcoming O level English is not easy. Why? Purely because, my English is bad. Anyway, enough of such things, haha..

Been working hard.. Working events... Tired... shag... I want my short getaways! Poor thing is, my boy is busy, writing his thesis. He doesn't have the time to accompany me for getaways. Need to wait for him to finish his thesis!!! ARHHHH! need to wait 2 months later. haha! I am willing to wait, in order we can relax together. :)

Many arguments between us, made us very unhappy. At the same time, we know ourselves better. Changing the topic! Haha!... Feel like buying a blackberry phone, but why? Purpose of buying??? I don't know.

Craving for a car, but i will never get one for now. Because i don't have the capability to own a car. Sigh... I want a car...

Just got back from cruise. 21 March to 23 March. So tired.. Insufficient of sleep.

To be frank, i am feeling physically +  mentally tired. What can i do? I asked, what drives him... His answers was... Good to the extent where i dont feel the same. Nvm.

Working with him tmr, and for the rest of the Sundays. Working environment is completely different from my current event. I feel very stressful while working. People tends to have lesser patience especially himself. hmm what can i do? The cry baby me, how long can you work there?


Physically + Mentally tired'

Back to sleep. zzz

It's been years since i updated. First, HAPPY NEW YEAR! :D

Days in 2011 had been tough but i enjoyed my days. Especially days that i actually met many many friends. Friends that i can talk to... Thank you for being there for me, whenever i need it. Though ur responses wont be as quickly as it is, but still, u guys are still there for me. Seriously glad to have all of you with me.

I failed my macroecons. How sad it is.. I got to retake it this sem alone. Sigh.. ALONE..That's the scariest thing for me.Doing things alone.. sigh... anw i going to say bye! :D

Goodnight.